What's Next

So typically when you have thyroid cancer you have your thyroid removed and then have radioactive iodine treatment. A few weeks after surgery, you have a thyroid scan which shows you if the cancer has spread to any other part of your body, which then dictates how much radioactive iodine you need to take. Usually you start taking a thyroid hormone pill, since your body cannot produce it anymore, but a few days before the thyroid scan you are given a shot of thyrogen that will get rid of all the hormone in your body. They do this to 'starve' your body of it so that when you take the RAI- radioactive iodine- your body absorbs it quickly. The RAI then kills all leftover thyroid cells and consequently the cancer.
Unfortunately the thyrogen is no where to be found in Omaha right now. Which means I cannot take the thyroid hormone at all. Before thyrogen, patients would have to suffer through extreme hypothyroidism in order to starve the body for RAI. I get to do this the old fashioned way. Lucky. Me.
When the doctor called and informed me of this, you better believe I was scared. No one wants to hear that you have cancer, that you have to do this the 'old fashioned way', and that as a result of this you'll be so tired you won't be able to get out of bed. After being reassured that I'd be okay by the doctor and my mom and hubby telling me not to worry because I'm pretty darn stubborn when it comes to be sick or in the hospital. For goodness sake I was able to get doctors to discharge me in less than 24 hours after a c-section and
pre-ecclampsia, not once but for both Sadie and Ruby's births. I hate being sick and I hate whining about something I can't control even more. So here I am almost 4 weeks without thyroid hormone.

On the Mayo Clinic's website, it states:
At first, you may barely notice the symptoms of hypothyroidism, such as fatigue and sluggishness, or you may simply attribute them to getting older. But as your metabolism continues to slow, you may develop more obvious signs and symptoms. Hypothyroidism signs and symptoms may include:

• Fatigue
• Sluggishness
• Increased sensitivity to cold
• Constipation
• Pale, dry skin
• A puffy face
• Hoarse voice
• An elevated blood cholesterol level
• Unexplained weight gain
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
• Muscle weakness
• Heavier than normal menstrual periods
• Brittle fingernails and hair
• Depression

You don't realize how much your tiny thyroid controls until you don't have it anymore and and you don't have   any thyroid hormone at all. I knew that everyday I would just feel worse and worse. It's a rather ominous feeling, like watching a storm rolling in. You know it'll storm, but you don't know how bad it will be until it's right on top of you. I know the storm will pass, I just don't know when it'll be over or if there'll be any damage left from it.
I had my first blood test- to check my thyroid hormone levels- last week and they came back still in a normal range. This week my numbers changed slightly but not even close to the number we're looking for. This past Wednesday makes 4 weeks without any thyroid hormone and since my levels are where they need to be I have at least another 2 weeks until the next blood test.
Life right now is pretty tough. I'm not gonna lie or sugarcoat it. My body hurts, mood swings come out of no where, and I just want to sleep all day. I am just grateful for Steven and the girls. They have been so great and patient with me- more so Steven than the girls, ha! If the girls start acting up, I usually just have to remind them that I'm sick and need their help. I'm just hoping to make it until bedtime. I take things minute by minute and prioritize. I clean when I feel up to it and rest when I need to. I've been trying to fun things with Steven and the girls when he's home from work. I've also been stockpiling things to do, pictures to edit, and books to read for the RAI treatment. During the RAI treatment I need to be secluded for 3 days so that I don't expose anyone else to the radiation. If you know me, you know that I'd rather not be alone. When Steven takes the kiddos out so I can relax, I end up cleaning or twiddling me thumbs because I'm so used to the nonstop life of a mom. I'm not sure how I'll stay couped up by myself for 3 whole days, it may just end up being torture for me. So any ideas would be great, ha! Until then, I just wait.

I know it's been what, 2 months? Well what's been going on. We got all of our household goods on April 10 and it was A-mazing to sleep in our own beds. Surgery was supposed to be at the end of April, but a more serious case presented itself and caused my surgery to be postponed. I ended up having surgery on May 9th and the doctors removed my entire thyroid and several lymph nodes. They had a pathologist in the operating room who confirmed that it was indeed cancer. The cancer had spread to my lymph nodes but the don't think it got into my blood or vascular system. But because it had spread to the lymph nodes, the surgery took longer than expected. When I woke up in the recovery I was completely out of it. All I really remember is that I woke up with a migraine, which they gave me medicine for. And I was really loopy. I remember they put my overnight bag on the end of my bed before they took me to my actual room for the night. As soon as the nurse put it on my bed and walked away, I sat up and took out my tablet and hugged it. Weird, right? I just hugged the darn thing and continued to drift in and out of sleep.

Once in my room I was reunited with Steven and he had brought my mom to the hospital. It was so nice to see familiar faces. Since I was in and out of sleep still, he took my mom back to the house so she could get some sleep. And what is it about hospitals and not being able to sleep through the night? It was a long night of random cat naps. Needless to say I was anxious to go home the next morning.

We were able to get the approval that we could leave that morning, but due to a snafu with a missed blood test we had to wait for a blood sample to be taken and get the results. Once they came back, we were free to leave. But that wasn't the end of it. I had 6 new prescriptions to fill so we headed to the base to fill them. They were able to fill them all except the pain meds. Not good. While the hospital stay was brief, I was still in a lot of pain. So while the other medicines were filled we headed to Target to fill the last. But, no go again. Target has been under renovations to make it a Super Target and the pharmacy was closed that day. Luckily the grocery store next door had a pharmacy, they had the medicine, and they could fill it quick. Once that was done we headed back to the base pharmacy and got the rest of the medicines. Thank the good Lord we were finally on our way home.

I had such a great surprise when I got home! Not only was my mom there, but Steven's mom too! She really is like my own mom and I absolutely love having her around. They also took the girls and got me some 'get well soon' goodies. It was great to sit in my own bed and rest while the girls, who are completely enamored but their grandparents, played downstairs with Yiayia and Memaw!

When this whole journey began way back in December in Turkey, I thought the worst part of it all would be the surgery and recovery from it was going to be the worst part. Boy was I wrong! More on that later.

-K

The One Where I Really Do Have Cancer

So things have been really crazy and hectic around here, and I don't think they are going to slow down any time soon. As soon as we got here we went to the base clinic and scheduled an appointment for me. The doctor referred me to an endocrinologist at Creighton University Hospital. The did another ultrasound and then a biopsy. They came back again as papillary carcinoma of the thyroid. Nothing could have prepared me for that, I guess I was just trying to hold out hope that the Turkish doctors I saw were wrong. But they weren't so now we're just trying to move forward and get all the surgery and treatment done. I was then referred to a great head and neck surgeon and Bergan Mercy Hospital in Omaha. He said that I have the most common and highest recovery rate type of cancer. Since I'm young and have no family history of thyroid cancer I have great chance at a full recovery, so a surgery was scheduled. On April 25th, I will have my thyroid removed, then 4-6 weeks after that I will do radioactive iodine treatments and then I'll have to take a pill for the rest of my life. Luckily I'll only be in the hospital for 1 night and the iodine treatments are only pills that I have to take. I am nervous but I'm also optimistic. I'm hoping that the sooner we get all this done, I won't have to worry about it again.  Now the doctor did say that he will take out only as much as he needs to and there is a chance that it could come back in a few years, but again I'm being optimistic. I am really grateful that I was able to be seen so quickly and the insurance company for expediting the approvals.

Even with all that going on, we really love it here. Our house is much smaller than our house in Turkey but we still like it and we are thinking about buying a house in the next few years. Even if we stay in this house for a few years I'll be happy. I am burnt out on moving. We've moved 6 times in 7 years so I just need a little break.  And our household goods will be here in a week! We are all so excited to have our beds back. This gives me two weeks to unpack before surgery and I'll be happy for the distraction. I'm also sure that Steven will go crazy again and unpack like a maniac. I think our last move he had everything unpacked in a couple of days, that leaves me with the task of finding everything a place in the house which I really don't mind. The worst part is having to wash all the linens, clothes, and kitchen stuff.

I have theory in my mind that once everything is unpacked and placed life will slow down some. I'm hoping I'm right because Lilly's birthday is tomorrow and I have no idea how she is going to be 6 years old?!?! She's getting so big and smart. She is reading a lot, especially in the car. It really trips us up when she reads billboards and store fronts, we're just not used to this. She is way too smart for her own good. Last night we were telling the girls that they had to go to sleep because we had to get up at 5am to take Steven to the airport- he's picking up our car from Illinois and driving it back here. Lilly, without skipping a beat, says,'At least we don't have to wake up at 1 in the morning.' I almost choked. It's just crazy.
Hopefully life will slow down soon because I'm just plain tired. But if you pray, could you just say a little prayer for me. I'm holding out on faith and optimism to get through this crazy journey.  But I do know will get through this a little tougher and stronger.


-K

Prayers Needed, Please

So I am the statistic that throws off the curve. You know that .1% that's left when something is 99.9% sure, accurate, or effected. My first pregnancy was ectopic. Meaning the fetus was growing in my tube and than the tube burst and lost half of my tube and ovary. My second pregnancy, and third and fourth, resulted in pre-eclampsia, or toxemia as it used to be called. In my fourth the pre-eclampsia actually presented after I had the baby.
We also had a terrible scare when I got pregnant with Ruby. During routine blood tests they due at the beginning of every pregnancy, it was found that I had a rare blood antibody, Kell. I didn't have it before, so they did a blood test on Steven.We learned that Steven carries the Kell antigen and he must have passed it onto Sadie-Mae, so when Sadie was born via c-section her blood mixed with mine. My body then produced an antibody to fight the antigen off. We were worried that Ruby may have the antigen as well, in which my body would try to kill her because it was trying to fight off the antigen. With lots of monitoring and some great American and British doctors, she was born healthy and happy. During the whole ordeal and many ultrasounds, they also had a large cyst on my left ovary which had to be removed during the c-section.
Now fast forward to a year ago. I was just not feeling right and was having some trouble losing all the baby weight. I went to the doctor and he did some blood work. Right after that we went home on our COT leave, continuous overseas tour leave, for a month. When we got back I found out there was something wrong with my blood work. So off I went to a University Hospital, a local Turkish hospital, to see an Endocrinologist. Let me just say that going there was a real eye opener. It was old, run down, and pretty dirty. There were patients on gurneys just hanging out in the corridors. I couldn't believe that I was actually at a hospital like this, it was truly something out of a World War II movie. I had a translator with me, but there was still a loss in translation. I visited this hospital a handful of times and the last time I was there the doctor diagnosed me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. He told me I was just fine and that my hormone levels were normal at the moment, but with thyroiditis my levels would go up, or down, or could be normal. He told me to return to an endocrinologist every 6 months to recheck everything. I was one of the handful of women who develop thyroiditis after pregnancy.
Over the summer I noticed I was more tired than normal, but I quickly dismissed it because 1) we traveled to the states for the summer and we were jet lagged, 2)the girls were sick a lot and there's 3 of them, and 3)I was a single parent with Steven still in Turkey working. I experienced a some weight gain and a couple other little symptoms. When we got back in August it was time to go back to see the doctor. This time I was able to go to  a much nicer hospital. It was like a smaller version of an American hospital. Everything was clean and modern and I felt much better going to this one. I had some tests done and found out that I had 2 nodules on my thyroid. A week and a half later I went back in to have a biopsy done. Now I was under the impression that this was not serious at all, just a simple biopsy to see if the nodes had to be surgically removed or not. I equated these nodes as cysts that sometimes they form and grow and need to be removed, like the cyst I had with my pregnancy.
When I went in last Friday for the results, I was a little nervous. I thought it was a simple they need to be removed or not. She told me they needed to be removed, I thought I would be able to wait to have them removed after we moved to Nebraska. We were hoping that we could wait until then so that a language barrier wouldn't be an issue, and so that we could have family come in and help with the girls so that Steven could be with me. The doctor said the nodes needed to be removed sooner rather than later and tried to send down to the General Surgery right that moment, but I needed a referral from my primary care doctor first, so they translated the test results an told me to bring them to my doctor right away.
I couldn't help but read the test results on the ride home. I didn't comprehend the results at first, but I did after I reread it. The nodes were 'suspicious of malignancy' and 'suspicious cytomorphology for papillary carcinoma'. I started to panic in the car and I was with people I didn't really knew. Cancer? That word had never been uttered in the year that I was diagnosed. Not once. I didn't know anything about thyroid cancer, at all. Luckily I was able to get an appointment with my primary doc that afternoon and Steven was able to stay home with me and the girls, instead of going back to work like he was supposed to.
Steven and I have a wonderful primary doctor who explained everything and took in our concerns. Steven wanted to make sure that I wasn't treated or have surgery in a Turkish hospital. He is very protective when it comes to things like this since our ectopic pregnancy experience at Kent General Hospital in Dover, DE. They were absolutely horrible to me there and I was so out of it from the pain that I couldn't even comprehend what was going on or the fact that nobody there had any sort of bed side manner. Our doctor agreed with Steven that I should go up to Germany and have the surgery there. Sometime in the next 2-3 weeks I will go to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center for the surgery. So for now I sit and wait to hear when the surgery will happen. Steven is actually on his way up there right now for his sleep study so he'll know his way around there when the time comes for all of us to head up there.
The Air Force will pay to send me and Steven up there but not our kids. So we are hoping that we'll be bale to take the rotator up a few days earlier so that we don't need to pay for plane tickets for the kids. We'd rather pay out of pocket for the hotel stay than the pay the price of air fare, especially since it'll be sort of last minute. We'd also like to get up there early so that we can get a a lay of the land and have the kids settled in before I have to spend time in the hospital. The girls are pretty good at adjusting so I'm not really worried. I'm more anxious than anything to get this done and over with, especially since we move in February and Lilly is in school now. I just can't wait to return to a sense of normalcy, ha! I say that like we've ever had a 'normal' day. Between the 5 of us, life is always interesting. I just pray to God that He sends peace and patience our way in order to get through this. I know that I'm strong and we're strong and we will get through this no matter what.

-K